Saturday, October 15, 2011

Is it hard to find Love being plus sized?

Now this is a loaded question if ever, its hard enough of even being a plus sized women finding a date. So how is it when you are a full figured women? This should be easy to answer and no should be the answer, but its not all black and white there is a gray area when you have curves. We live in a society that has made it very clear  that if you are fat and a women you are not going anywhere in life and just to call it a day, a lot of us know that is not so and that train of thought is so out dated and a lot of us don't accept it and we are letting the world know this.

I have to say from experience and what my friends have shared with me some men think because we are fat we are easy and will take whatever kind of attention we can get and be happy with it.

Model Credit to Nicola Morris 
This is so far from the truth for a lot of us who know that we are worth so much more and wont accept any old kind of loving or affection. We have come to this conclusion because we have learned to love who we are and our bodies and what we offer in a relationship as a person, our bodies is just an extension of our beauty and an added plus.

This question was asked to a group and here are some of the response we received:

Virgie L. Dating sucks regarless of weight. AT work, my Pharmacist is well educated, steady job, nice body yet at 36 still single. She is thin. Finding a a good man to be compatible with is hard, and its harder when you don't want to settle for just anyone either.

Ashley N. Men always assume that I am either desperate or easy. It's ridiculous!

Jan M. It was easy for me. Im a big beautiful woman & I found my man. I actully flirted w him & asked him to walk me to my car, we hugged, & have litteraly been together ever since! Hes sexy smart & so sweet. We just got married in Aug. And now have a baby girl on the way. he didnt think I was easy cus im bigger,.he saw my beautiful confidence show thru. Im / we are so very blessed to have eachother & no I havent lost weight. Hes a true gentlman & loves me for me. Its amazing ♥

Wendy N. I think us BBWs should explore the option of dating and finding a soulmate outside of the race. Im mainly speaking to Black women. I do agree that some see us as easy and desperate. They approach us in direspectful ways. Like talking abt penis size and what they can do in the initial convo. They wnt to label us as "The other" while the main woman is relationship material. Ladies dnt accept that label. U can do better.

Lisa G. I think it is tough regardless of weight but, some men do think because we are bigger we are easy or they can disrespect us. Then there are those that are are obsessed with and only turned on by bigger women, but only in private, and want a skinny woman in public. I do think in the online dating world, being bigger is tantamount to being a leper. You can meet a man's requirements to a T but if you don't look a certain way, you get passed by. I found a good guy for a while tho but he wasn't fully over his ex (who was also bigger) *sigh* It's a jungle out there girls

Rosalie UI agree with both Virgie and Ashley. I have trouble finding a date but so do lots of my thin friends. That being said...a lot of guys just want me for sex. It is a real pain. I can fill all a man's requirements for a grlfriend...aside from body type and he will pass me over.

Aleya L. I could write a book on bad first date experiences... I used to think that I got treated a certain way just because of the way I look, but I've come to realize that's only part of the equation. A good friend told me I need to "stop putting the fat up on a pedestal." That caught me by surprise because I knew she was is hard no matter what size you are. Because there are certain people out there who will try to take advantage of the way I look and keep me a secret, skip past a real first date, or try to use me for sex or a fetish no matter what I do, I know my own approach to dating is completely skewed based on my experiences. I expect the worst, which doesn't really help my own case. It's become a toxic cycle I think that most of us larger women get caught up in, and it takes a conscious effort every time I meet someone new to be as open-minded as possible.

Dayna E. I'm married now, but in all honest I don't believe dating difficulties have to do with size. Often I think its about how approachable we are and how open we are to new people in our lives. Confidence is attractive and when a woman feels good about herself it shows. Women in general who don't value themselves are like lightening rods for users, abusers, and lack luster mates who see them as prey. I think we all have female friends and family members, both skinny and plus size, who fit that mold. There are good men and women out there who will love you, because YOU love YOU. They will see worth in you, because YOU see worth in YOU!

And yes they do have dating sites that charter to the plus size community, Plus Size and many others out there.

As you can see by all the response of the ladies its actually a give a take but above all is 

learning to love yourself.


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